“If you are content to just be yourself and not compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
Lao Tzu
Today I want to focus on a negative habit that creates insecurity within, Erodes self-esteem and can make you feel quite unhappy with your own life.
It’s something that has emerged as we’ve moved part of our lives to the internet and social media.
And that habit is comparing yourself and your life to the highlights of others.
What do I mean by that?
That it is so easy to compare your life to the lives of friends, old classmates or celebrities of all sizes, seeing every day how perfect their homes, children and love lives are and how filled their lives are with wonderful moments.
But is that their entire life shared on Facebook and Instagram?
Usually not.
It’s just the highlight of that person’s life. The positive moments.
And it is very normal to want to share such moments or days with your friends or followers.
For some people this can turn into something destructive.
Towards a way to create a more perfect picture of someone’s life, so that you get that instant gratification when people add positivity through comments, likes and upvotes.
But everyone has problems sometimes.
They fail. Getting sick. Have flaws, bad days, or negative habits.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like or act like.
I have those problems too. Just like everyone else.
Some days I still stumble and fall. Doubt myself or am pessimistic at times. That’s human.
So don’t strive to be perfect or measure yourself against someone else’s highlights.
Here are three healthier steps you can take instead:
Step 1: Compare smarter.
There will always be people who have more or nicer things than you.
Or be better at something than you are. Whatever you do.
So if you want to compare, do it in a way that doesn’t make you feel jealous and inferior.
Do it by comparing yourself to yourself. Look how far you’ve come. Look back at the obstacles you’ve overcome, what you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown.
Step 2: Focus your energy and time on what matters most.
Step by step, spend the hours of your day and week building habits that will make you a better, happier person.
For example, try to be optimistic 70% of the time, while you may have been 50% last month.
Or spend more of your weekly free time on your favorite hobby or honing a valuable skill.
Step 3: Let go of what’s bringing you down.
If necessary, unsubscribe or delete social media accounts from your feed if you feel like they are bringing you down and lowering your self-esteem. Even if those things might also be entertaining in the moment.
Life is not just a highlight, no matter who shares it.
So look further, remember that everyone is human and stop comparing yourself to that limited image of someone.
In the long run, you’ll be glad you did it.
