Fake it and you’ll make it: 10 tips to build self-confidence

Self-confidence is an essential inner quality in any career, but in many fields (e.g. engineering where I work), just because you are a woman, your abilities can be questioned before you even start your job.

I hated interviews; they really scared me. To help me get through it with less anxiety, I started imagining how one of my colleagues handled interviews and pressure in general. I thought about how he responded to questions he didn’t know the answer to, how he stayed calm even when he felt like the interview wasn’t going well, and how he stayed positive and poised even when he felt like he was going bad. was treated. . At home, I would mentally go through the entire job interview, imagining myself exhibiting the same cool behavior.

What did I learn from this and how can you build confidence and fake it until you become braver? Everyone experiences a lack of self-confidence sometimes, but it is important for your career to consciously work on this characteristic.

The importance of self-confidence

Self-confidence leads to better performance, but also to a good feeling about yourself and what you can achieve.

If you don’t have self-confidence, you can fall into traps that can hold you back. For example, if you are a junior studying at a company, you can get into the habit of taking the blame when something goes wrong. As a result, you may start to think that you are stupid or incapable of performing the job. But it’s not up to you. You are not supposed to understand everything from the start.

A lack of self-confidence can also lead to being too modest and hiding your success or allowing someone else to take credit. You may think that your managers will see what you do and promote you without you saying anything, but that usually doesn’t work. Maybe you feel too shy to do your own PR and hope a colleague will notice and spread the word. You can’t rely on that either. If you don’t naturally have confidence, fake it by sharing your successes and doing your own PR.

At the same time, self-confidence does not mean that you never make mistakes. Everyone does that, no matter how confident they are or how long they have been in their career. Don’t get stuck in perfection. Remember: better done than perfect.

Lack of confidence is the main problem I see with the women I mentor. The good news is that self-confidence can be learned. Overcoming self-doubt happens when you honestly and truthfully assess your abilities and work on areas that need improvement.

“If you have no confidence in yourself, you will be defeated twice in the race of life. With confidence you have won before you have even started.” -Cicero

Here are ten tips to get you started:

1. Work on building self-confidence by reading a self-help book or getting help from someone else. Find a therapist to analyze your negative patterns. Ask a coach to help you be courageous. Discover what causes your lack of self-confidence and what beliefs limit you. For example, you might think, “I’m not smart enough” or “I didn’t complete my project on time, so I’m not a competent worker.” Once you recognize these thought patterns, you can work through them in therapy, coaching, or by talking to other women. When you notice these negative thoughts, stop yourself and ask yourself what you would say to a friend who spoke to herself in this harsh way. Also look at the things you say to yourself and assess whether they are true. You may tell yourself that you’re too slow at producing work, but when you think about it, you realize that you consistently produce good work. If it helps, write down the truth about your skills so that you remember them the next time self-doubt creeps in.
2. Try things you think you can’t do. Start a blog. Give a lecture. Present at a conference. Try something more difficult than your current skill level. You may think that something like speaking at a conference requires a lot of confidence, but it really takes preparation and practice. Building diverse professional skills is one of the best ways to build confidence in your abilities.
3. Participate in meetings even if you are not 100 percent sure about the topic. Asking questions. Share your perspective. The more you do it, the more confident you become.
4. Even if you fail when you take a risk, learn from that experience. Separate yourself from failure. You did something and it failed. You are not a failure. Learn from the situation and then move on.
5. Believe that you are worthy of a promotion. Go for the best. Ask yourself what you need to do to get to that next position. Look at the steps and start taking them.
6. Look for a supportive community. Find a buddy within your team, someone you can learn from in those areas where your current knowledge and skills are limited.
7. Ask people who appreciate you to encourage you. Find people who can help you calm down when you’re nervous, such as before a big presentation. If you share how you feel, these friends can show you how valuable you really are.
8. Change your goals. If you’re worried about finding a new job, change the goal from “finding a new job” to “getting as many interviews as possible.” If you manage to get interviews, then you’ve already won. Eventually you will get a job.
9. If you have a big task, divide it into small tasks. Small steps tend to be easier to handle, practically and emotionally, and small wins can boost your self-confidence.
10. If you are afraid, imagine someone who is confident, just like I did when I was afraid to apply for a job. Imagine this person doing what you need to do. How does she handle herself? How does she speak? Pay attention to the little details and then try to recreate them in your own situation.

Fake it and you’ll make it

Don’t wait until you have the confidence to do big, meaningful things. Instead, set big goals and work towards them. It’s time to revisit the old refrain of “fake it til you make it,” and commit to the idea that when it comes to building self-confidence and getting the career you dream of, the slogan “fake it til you make it.” it makes it. ”