The Italian Berzatto family of ‘The Bear’ can use these tips to find joy

On behalf of all Italian Americans everywhere, don’t let the volatile, perpetually miserable and explosive Berzatto family depicted in “The Bear” scare you from running for the hills if you find yourself in the orbit of an Italian family. We are really much nicer than them.

Hulu’s ‘can’t decide if it’s a drama or a comedy megahit’ The Bear has been the talk of the town since its 2022 premiere, and for good reason. It’s a great story and brilliantly acted by the entire cast. But about those Berzattos: who in their right mind would want to hang out with them? Speaking as someone who is 85% Italian (thanks, 23andMe) and grew up in a large family with even friends called aunts, uncles and cousins ​​(“Hey, paisan!”), it’s really about love, laughter, joy and …oh, you get the idea.

So, to set the record straight for all of us here, Italians, let’s explore how we can teach the Berzattos to heal their wounds, embrace life with enthusiasm – and maybe crack a smile every now and then, okay ?

•Sing with your heart

Berzattos, you need to cool down. Bring in a little Dean Martin, a little Tony Bennett or Frank Sinatra. To hear them sing about amore and how beautiful life is (“The bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling and you will sing, ‘vita bella’”) or even the Irish singer Rosemary Clooney promising: “You will be happy in the feet. -a when your mambo Italiano” can’t help but put a smile on your face. Your emotions are overflowing? Give them a helping hand by singing passionately along with Luciano Pavarotti. The emotional release makes you cry and then laugh because it was so easy to wash them away.

•Cuddle some more, would you like?

Berzatto’s relatives (and friends) swing a lot. We’re not talking about throwing a hotel room key into some kind of swinging bowl. We’re talking about fists. Yes, emotions are enormous among Italians. When they love someone, it’s an all-in, ‘stand back because I’m probably going to suffocate you’ kind of love. When they are sad, tears do not leak slowly; they roar. And if they get angry, beware; it’s not unusual for them to go nuclear. That’s what we saw in “The Bear.” But in real life, for many Italians, once the screaming stops, it’s as if nothing happened, and it’s followed by a bone-crushing hug. If that doesn’t happen, do what my nona did when I was a kid, which quickly shut me down. She grabbed a small piece of skin from my arm and pulled and twisted at the same time. That could produce a terrorist
their knees.

•Nicknames

The Berzattos have already written down the entire nickname in true Italian form, meaning everyone ends in ‘ie’ or ‘y’. Such as Carmy, Richie, Mikey, etc. But Italians also have sweet pet names for each other. The family in “The Bear” only addresses this by calling Natalie “Sugar.” For example, in my family we have Measles, Puco, and Dillinger, just to name a few, which started when they were kids, indicating who a) got sick, b) loved hockey, and c) wore a gun and holster that time. he could walk. Those nicknames stuck until they were sitting at the poker table in the sky drinking spritz. The Berzattos can certainly come up with a few expressions of affection.

•Embrace your Italianness

Italians are like Geminis (again: voice of experience) in that they navigate contradictions. They are incredibly strong, but just as vulnerable. They are cheerful, but also quite serious. They are young at heart, but old at heart. They love family and friends gathering in the kitchen to eat and chat at decibel levels, everyone talking over each other, but surprisingly they know what each of the dozens of conversations are about. They like that noise. It brings them joy to see the joy in others, and that is what they not only seek to have, but to create. Berzattos, embrace that. At least every now and then.